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Japanese Game Industry Needs to Understand the West

At least that is the opinion of Hideo Kojima, one of the most famous Japanese game developpers, creator of the Metal Gear series.

It’s been a frequent chorus in Japanese mags and online sites for a couple of years now. There’s a gap in development skill between Japanese and Western developers; the US and Europe aren’t interested in Japanese games the way they used to be; something needs to be done about this. Hideo Kojima, mastermind of the Metal Gearseries, isn’t so sure about that any longer.”Do we really need to succeed worldwide?” he asked Famitsu magazine in an interview published in this week’s issue. “That’s what I’m really wondering about. Everyone talks about overseas, overseas, but nobody’s really thinking about what needs to be done if we want to succeed. We get obsessed with thinking about worldwide because we’ve had previous success with games and anime worldwide, but none of those successes matter nowadays. When you’re making a game, it doesn’t matter what nationality the team is — I think there was a lack of understanding among Japanese developers on that issue. It all comes down to the team you have. Even if I brought in the best developer in the world, it won’t result in anything if nobody around him understands what he says.”

It may sound a bit like Kojima, whose flagship series has always sold better overseas than in Japan, is hoisting up the white flag. However, he sees it more as simply accepting reality. “It’s hard to feel this when you’re in Japan, but there is a gap opening between the West in terms of pure quality,” he said. “If you’re trying to break out overseas, then I think the only way is to divide your development teams between the Japanese and global markets. It’s impossible to encompass it in a single group — everything needs to be separate, down to the office and pay structure. There are loads of talented developers overseas, but you can’t get them unless you spend the money. If you base your calculations off the standard Japanese salary structure, nobody’s going to come to you. It’s the difference between what you pay a Hollywood star versus a Japanese film star.”

So it’s a money issue, but Kojima also noted that it’s a case of Japanese developers wanting their cake and eating it too — in other words, striving for acceptance (and sales) in the US, but not really making the changes required to make that happen. “To put it in an extreme fashion, Americans like games where you have a gun and you’re shooting at space aliens,” he said. “If you don’t understand why that’s fun, then you shouldn’t be making games for the world market; you don’t need to. I mean, Japanese people might say ‘Why space aliens?’, but Americans will counter with ‘What’s with these games featuring these feminine-looking boys fighting in Japan with these huge swords?’ It’s no wonder the target audience for a lot of games is getting so compartmentalized.”

Diverging genres of gaming — and, in fact, the blurring of genres across the industry — also play a role. “In the 8-bit days,” Kojima noted, “you had to symbolize a lot of things and make gamers follow certain rules. In the West, that did a complete 180 starting with the PS2. It’s no longer the game designer’s job to think up the rules; his job is to dissect gamers’ preferences and build a world they can get addicted to. That’s why having FPSes dominate the US market into the future is absolutely fine by me.”

So where does the answer lie in Kojima’s mind? To him it’s simple: make useful changes. That was somewhat symbolized with Kojima’s reveal of the Fox Engine before E3. “Once that’s complete, we’ll be able to develop games more intuitively as well as far more efficiently,” he told Famitsu “That’s the way games are normally developed overseas, but we just didn’t have that.”


Archer: The Return of the Adult Cartoons

Ever since Family Guy and Futurama, there weren’t many succesful cartoons for the adult audience in America. Surely, there were some shows like American Dad or Bob’s Burgers which had their 15 minutes of fame and then quited down. Yet, it wasn’t anything spectacular and the American cartton industry started falli apart.

But eveerything is not over. With Archer, FX strike and strike hard.

The plot consists basically of the secret agent Archer, who works for his horny mother’s spy agency. Accompanied by his hot ex, his ex’s new boyfriend and other losers, Archer does funny shit and has a lot of sex.

This show is literally amazing, full with a lot of tits and incredible jokes.It is like watching James Bond written by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. In its third season, this show is definitely promising and, hopefully, will stay awesome for a long, long time.




#9 Telephone – Lady Gaga ft. Beyoncé (Top 10 Worst Songs of 2010)

It's hard to believe, but there are actually two women in this picture. Can you find them?

I like Telephone. The beat is good and I can see myself dancing to it. The music video on the other side is complete crap, thus making the song worth to be amongst the worst of 2010.

First, let’s take a look at the lyrics. It’s about a woman, I guess, who is constantly being called while being on a party. This problem can be easily solved and we could have been avoided 3:41 minutes of annoying sounds only if Gaga had turned her cellphone off. Also, is it really a subject worth singing for? I mean who cares that someone won’t stop calling you? Just don’t pick up the damn phone! And comparing it to “a disaster” is a bit over-exaggerated.

Lady Gaga, why you no turn phone off???

Now, here comes the music video. A little less than 50% is the actual song. Most of it is a poor attempt for a movie.

Female prisons are part of every male sexual fantasy. The one from Telephone is an exception. Why? Because it has Lady Gaga. I cannot imagine the idiot who had the idea to do this? WE DON’T WANT TO SEE LADY GAGA NAKED!!! If possible, I’d not like to see her at all, but that’s life.

It's a trap!

The intro is too long.  You have to wait until 2:54 to actually hear some music. Until, then you get to watch Lady Gaga being weird.

I like it how in the beginning the “female” guard explains that Lady Gaga lacks male genitalia. It is as if they are trying to convince us that she is actually a woman.

At this point, I’d like to introduce to you a new segment called: “The WTF Lady Gaga moment”. It’s time devoted to admiring the fashion taste of Lady Gaga and questioning on her sex.

WTF Lady Gaga Moment 1

One of the main reasons why female prisons are a male fetish is the possibility of lesbians engaging in diverse sexual activities. I highly doubt that any man had ever imagined something similar to this video.

Not your average lesbian fantasy

Oh and at this point, I believe it’s worth mentioning who has sponsored this piece of shit.

Virgin mobile - you don't need to be a virgin to use us

I bet Virgin Mobile regret this right now.

The next scene we see a girl fight. It’s at this point that you might ask yourself: “Don’t they wear uniforms in prisons?” If you do have such questions, leave them away. There are too many other things which make no sense. It’s no time to be picky now.

So, as I said, this is the scene when the song actually starts. We are almost at the three minutes mark. Oh, and of course, how can we forget another WTF moment.

WTF Lady Gaga Moment 2

Afterward, we are awarded by a lingerie dance scene. This would have been hot if not for the boner-breaker Lady Gaga.

WTF Lady Gaga Moment 3

Lady Gaga leaves the prison and this makes us very happy because we will not see her naked anymore.

This moment of joy is brought to you by Virgin Mobile

So now, we have Beyoncé and Lady Gaga together in the car. Would this mean an interesting sex scene? Or probably a twist in the glorious plot of this video? No. But we do have another WTF moment.

WTF Lady Gaga Moment 4

I can never really understand the meaning of the car scene. I guess that Lady Gaga and Beyoncé are some sort of girlfriends. Nevertheless, this does not explain the nonsensical clichés. Let’s observe for a moment the wisdom leaking out of Lady Gaga’s mouth.

Lady Gaga: You sure you want to do this, honey bee?

Beyoncé: What do you mean am I sure?

Lady Gaga: You know what they say:  “Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger.”

Who says that, Gaga? Who? I have worked at Burger King and McDonald’s. No one has EVER said something that stupid! NO ONE!!!

So, the following scene, we have Lady Gaga and Beyoncé killing, for God knows what reason- it’s not important, all the customers in a restaurant. Their plan is ingenious: Gaga, dressed as a waitress, poisons the food of everybody. The average listener might ask himself or herself: “Who would engage Lady Gaga as a waitress? How can she poison the entire kitchen?” Well, as previously mentioned, such questions are futile. Why? Because we have another WTF moment.

WTF Lady Gaga Moment 5

This WTF moment was brought to you by Miracle Whip!

Miracle Whip - yeah, we regret it.

It is hard to say, but the video actually made sense until now. From now on, it went fully into an orgy of idiocracy.

Beyoncé is asking herself when did her career go so wrong

It is seriously series of spasms, repeated lyrics and absurd dances. And of course, we have:

WTF Lady Gaga Moment 6

So, this is it. Still, I feel that something is missing. Yes, yes, something essential. What could it be?

Oh yes, Beyoncé was not featured in any of the WTF Lady Gaga moments. No worries, it’s easily fixed:

WTF Lady Gaga Moment 7

Now, the song is okay, but the video is extremely annoying. The thing I hated the most was the featuring of the Pussy Wagon. Why did Tarantino let this be in it? Is he so desperate for money?

I'd sell my mother to have more money!!!

The good news is that it’s over. After 9 minutes and 31 seconds of torture, Telephone is over. No more. None.



#10 Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby) – Jedward (Top 10 Worst Songs of 2010)

Jedward - The Shame of Ireland

When I began researching to find the worst songs of 2010, I unfortunately fell over this one. It had so far miraculously escaped from my  shit-detecting radar. This is sadly not the case anymore.

While I was watching this masterpiece of turd, I had several observations:

  • Who the fuck are these fagots?
  • White people can’t rap.
  • Britain should consider death penalty for these two.
  • All those who voted for them are bloody morons.
  • Identical twins are creepier than gingers.

Gingers, you've got some tough competition

Seriously, who is Jedward? They are apparently some British pop stars who became very famous in the reality show called The X Factor. Which lead me to the reflection that British people are complete morons. Why would anyone vote for them? Dear Britain, you need to get hold of yourself. If you go on like this, Canada might just consider separating.

Who the fuck are these fagots?

Observing these fagots is like watching Robert Patterson and his clone singing Christmas carols. But enough with their appearance. What about the music?

The man behind Jedward

I must include first that I am a huge fan of David Bowie and Queen. Moreover, Under Pressure is one of my all-time favorite songs. Furthermore, I consider Ice Ice Baby as a listenable song.



I have uncovered your plans!!!!!

In few words, this song is junk. And the fact that it’s only on tenth place means that we have a long way until the top.

Also, Jedward consider representing Ireland in 2011 for Eurovision. If they are chosen, someone needs to nuke that country.



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